Not As Planned
by theycallmethejackal
Summary: Just after President Bartlet's Second Inauguration, Donna finds out she's pregnant.
I had this angsty little thought recently and felt the need to write it. Didn't realize it would end up being this long. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

Joshua Lyman is pulled unceremoniously from the first bits of sleep he's been able to get since starting the second campaign by the sound of his buzzer shrieking. He rolls over and tries to block out the sound with the pillow over his head, but he fails and the buzzer continues to blare. With a grumbled curse at whoever dared to wake him on his first night of real sleep, he rolls out of bed and trudges his way to the door, pressing the button on the intercom. "It's three in the morning; this better be important," he grouses.

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't…"

Her voice is a shot of caffeine straight to his bloodstream. She sounds nervous, and he's instantly awake, buzzing her into his building and unlocking the door.

A short moment later, she's knocking timidly, and he opens the door to find Donna Moss, her face tear-streaked and pale, her overcoat wrapped around her pajama-clad frame.

Just yesterday he was throwing snowballs at her window, whisking her off to eight Inaugural Balls, and watching as her face lit up at the splendor of each event. She'd been practically glowing with joy, and today at work she'd been her usual self.

Any trace of that is gone now, and he invites her in, closing and locking the door behind her. "What's the matter?" He immediately asks, turning and taking her shoulders in his hands gently. His thumbs stroke over her coat and she breaks into sobs, curling into him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. Automatically (and he's surprised how instinctive it is – he's never known how to comfort a crying woman) his arms wrap around her neck, holding her to him. He can feel her fingers clutching at the back of his shirt and all he wants to do is kick the ass of the gomer who hurt her.

Donna mumbles something unintelligible into his skin. "Sorry, Donna, I didn't catch that," he murmurs, shivering a little at the feeling of the vibrations from her words against his neck.

She sniffles and pulls back, her gaze focused on his chest instead of making eye contact. "I'm pregnant," she whimpers.

His heart stills for a moment. "Is it mine?" The words fly out of his mouth before he can stop them, and then he shakes his head. "Stupid question – some sort of reflex – " They've never had sex. They've never even _kissed_. Of course it's not his.

His faux pas doesn't garner the expected reaction, though. Instead of shock or anger or more tears, Donna bursts out laughing, doubling over in a fit of giggles. The word _hormones_ flits into his head and back out very quickly at the sudden change in her demeanor.

Josh manages to get her to the couch, where she finally calms down. He sits by the armrest but faces her, his arm extended toward her on the back of the couch. She sits facing straight ahead, her hands folded in her lap as she fidgets nervously.

"I realized I was late," she starts quietly, and he notices her exhale shakily, so he moves his hand to rest on her shoulder to comfort her. "It usually starts like clockwork, but with the Inauguration and Jack getting transferred, I was just so caught up in everything that I wasn't even thinking about it."

He tries to avoid tensing up at the mention of Commander Wonderful, but he fails, stiffening for just a brief moment before rubbing her shoulder gently. He doesn't really know what to say, but he feels like it's his turn, so he opens his mouth to speak. Donna cuts him off, though. "I don't know what to do, Josh," she whispers, turning toward him, her eyes darting around the room. It's then he realizes she hasn't looked him in the eye since arriving here.

"You don't have to decide anything right now," he tells her, squeezing her shoulder gently.

"I don't even know how to contact Jack – or if he'll even _care_."

He sighs. Jack Reese may be a Republican and may have let Donna take the fall for him, but Josh has a hard time believing he won't care that he's going to be a father. "He will," he assures his friend. "I'll figure out how to get ahold of him tomorrow."

She sniffs and nods, obviously fighting tears again. He ducks his head so their eyes finally meet. "Donna…it's going to be okay," he promises quietly.

There's no discussion about it. Josh just leads her to his rarely-used guest room. In fact the last person who'd used it was her after Rosslyn. He tells her to sleep in. He can get by without her for the morning, and she seems so astonished at his consideration. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she whispers, "Thank you."

"It's no big deal. You've gotta be exhausted – "

She pulls back and shakes her head. "No, Josh… _thank you_."

He smiles at her and nods. "Anytime, Donnatella."

He leaves her then and heads back to his bedroom, crawling under the covers and proceeding to stare at the ceiling for the next two hours as sleep fails to come.

* * *

Senior staff is quick in the morning, and he's grateful for that. He heads back toward his office, and clearly somehow in the thirty seconds it took to get to the bullpen, all hell broke loose. Everyone in the room is focused on a television, and he looks up at the screen in Donna's cubicle.

As though right on cue, his assistant walks in at that moment. "What's going on?" Her eyes follow his to the screen as he turns his head to look at her, and he watches her jaw drop.

 _Bombing at Aviano Air Force Base_

He quickly guides her into his office, where she collapses into one of his visitors' chairs. "I thought you were sleeping in today," he murmurs, sitting in the other next to her.

"I couldn't sleep," she whispers. "I was too – I couldn't sleep," she repeats.

They stay there, watching the television as CNN covers the attack. Josh fields phone calls on his own. He knows Leo will want to meet with senior staff again, and Josh is dreading the moment he has to leave Donna alone.

"I'm gonna have to call you back…" He says into the phone, forgetting who he was even talking to as he sets it back on the cradle. On the screen, a reporter has just declared that Lieutenant Commander Jack Reese is among the dead.

* * *

He goes with her to the memorial service a few days later. Jack had no family left, and Donna insists she needs to pay her respects to the father of her child. So he stands beside her through the whole service and takes her home afterward.

"I'm going to have to get a new place," she says, looking up at the building as they stand at the foot of the stairs. "I can't keep living with Kelsey once I have a… a baby."

He looks at her, and he thinks that maybe this is the first time she's actually realized she's going to have a kid. Her hand rests over her still flat stomach and she looks down.

"Stay with me." He doesn't realize he spoke until her head snaps up to look at him. He doesn't want to take it back, though. "Stay with me," he repeats. "My place is big enough for the three of us."

Donna looks at him for a long moment, seeming to consider it. "Josh, you know what people will say – "

"I don't care," he assures her. There have been rumors about their relationship for the last five years. "You need a place to stay, and there's no way you can afford something on your own on your current salary, so stay with me…" _Let me take care of you_.

She looks like she's going to say no again, but instead she nods her head. "Thank you, Josh," she whispers.

* * *

He accompanies her to her first appointment with the OBGYN, who instantly assumes he's the father. It doesn't escape him that Donna doesn't deny it. They find out that she's about eight weeks along, and his stomach lurches when he realizes that was around the time of her Christmas trip. The one she almost didn't go on because of work.

But he looks at the ultrasound and sees a tiny little bean-shaped thing, and part of him is extraordinarily happy. Yeah, he thought that the first time he ever did this, he'd be looking at his own kid, but this is _Donna's_. Aside from any child of his own, this one is the most important child that will ever exist in his life.

Looking at Donna again, he sees a wide smile on her face. For the first time since she told him about it, he thinks she's genuinely happy about being a mother. The doctor leaves to give them a moment. "That's my baby," Donna whispers once she's gone.

Josh bends and kisses the top of her head. "You're going to be a great mom," he assures her, petting her hair as she keeps her eyes glued to the screen.

* * *

She's not yet starting to show when she moves into Josh's place. She's at eleven weeks, and Kelsey was able to get another roommate to sublet so Donna can move. Aside from Josh, the doctor, and Kelsey, no one knows about the pregnancy yet. According to Donna there's a lot that can go wrong in the first trimester, and as Toby would say, they don't want "to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing."

It's two weeks later when she decides to tell CJ. The Press Secretary has always made it clear that she is the first call if anything scandalous should happen, but this is also about the fact that CJ is her friend. Josh watches from outside as the women embrace and the older woman fawns over Donna for a moment. She has the tiniest bump now – not even noticeable to anyone who isn't aware that she's pregnant, but he watches as CJ notices it for the first time.

They hug again and Donna leaves the office, heading back for her cubicle. He hides around the corner so she doesn't see him as she leaves, and then he enters CJ's office. "Pretty exciting, huh?"

"Is it yours?"

He sighs, his grin fading. "No."

"But she's living with you."

"Yeah."

"You know people are gonna think – "

"Yeah."

"And you aren't worried ab – "

"No."

CJ sighs and sits in her chair, propping her head on her hand. "Why didn't you call me before making this decision? I am your _first call_ ," she reminds him.

"It just happened, CJ," he tells her. "She needs someone. The father is dead, and her roommate would have been useless." Josh sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "She's taken care of me for five years. This is the least I can do for her."

CJ drops her arm onto the desk. "Yeah…" She concedes, leaning back in her chair. She eyes him for a moment, and he shoves his hands in his pockets. "So how do you really feel about all of this?" She asks.

"She's excited about it, so I'm happy for her," he replies with a smile as he remembers the first time she saw the ultrasound.

She scrutinizes him briefly. "I just always thought that if Donna ever did have a baby, it would be yo – "

"Don't go there, CJ," he cuts her off. It's something he's thought about himself, but he doesn't want to talk about it. And he definitely doesn't want people knowing he's thought about it. "I know what people think, but we're just friends," he insists, turning to leave her office.

"Whatever you say, mi amore," CJ responds as he opens the door and heads back across the bullpen.

* * *

Leo is the next to know.

"Is it yours?" He asks Josh after offering his congratulations to Donna.

"No," Josh replies, noticing how Donna freezes at the question. "But Donna moved in with me a couple weeks ago so she'll have help during the pregnancy and when the baby comes."

"Good," Leo replies, which surprises Josh. He'd expected some sort of backlash from his boss, but the older man is pleased with this development. He has a daughter, and he knows how much help a woman can need during pregnancy.

Those are the only people who need to know in a business sense, so next they start telling people as friends. And of course once Margaret knows, all of DC has the information.

No one seems to care that Donna is a single mother, something Josh is grateful for, but the concern CJ and Donna both voiced turns out to be valid. In one of the briefings, a reporter asks how long Josh Lyman has been having an "illicit relationship" with his longtime assistant, Donna Moss.

CJ responds that the White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of its staff and moves on.

When the briefing is over and the cameras are off, Josh hears Danny Concannon ask CJ who won the pool. "Off the record," CJ responds, "no one. Josh isn't the father."

* * *

At eighteen weeks, Donna finds out she's having a girl. At home, she takes to reading to the baby aloud, which Josh finds ridiculous. She explains to him that the baby can hear things and she wants her daughter to know her voice. "Well maybe I should start talking to her about politics. Make sure we raise a sensible Democrat," he jokes.

"We?" She asks, and he can swear she sounds hopeful.

He's heard that a woman becomes a mother when she finds out she's pregnant, but a man doesn't become a father until he meets his child. And yet somehow, even though it's not his child growing inside her, he feels an extraordinary desire to love and protect this little girl.

Suddenly he has an incredibly strong feeling that this isn't a temporary living situation. He sees Donna's daughter growing up here with them. He sees them standing side by side as she graduates from high school and moving her into college at Georgetown (what? He wants her to stay close to home). But all of these thoughts don't leave him feeling trapped. It doesn't feel like he's throwing away anything. It kind of feels like things are falling into place. Like this is how it's supposed to be.

He sits down on the couch beside her, draping his arm over the back behind her and kissing her temple. "Yeah, we," he murmurs against her hair. "I'm not going anywhere, Donna," he promises, pulling back to look at her face, where he discovers a broad smile. She snuggles into his side and hums contentedly.

A short while later, she jerks up, startled as she clutches her stomach. Panic immediately washes over Josh as he worries that he's going to lose someone else he loves, but then she takes his hand and puts it on her stomach over her thin t-shirt, and they both smile as the baby kicks.

* * *

"I think I'm going to name her Reese."

Josh looks up from his desk at his very pregnant… well he hasn't quite figured out how to refer to her. They're more than roommates, and over the last few weeks, he knows their relationship has started going somewhere beyond just friends. But nothing has happened yet, so he can't call her _his_ yet. "Reese Reese?" He asks with a furrowed brow.

"Reese Moss," she answers. "The first time I met Jack, I thought his last name was his first name. She should have a piece of her father, and I like Reese for a girl," she explains, moving to sit in a visitor's chair across from him as he shakes the thought of _Moss-Lyman_ from his mind. "Reese Lucia Moss."

"Lucia?" He asks.

"My grandmother," the blonde answers, putting her hands on her stomach and smiling.

He smiles back at her. "I like it," he replies with a nod before standing and rounding the desk. At twenty-five weeks, Donna's stomach is very prominent, especially on her thin frame. It seems like her pregnancy weight is all right there in the stomach. None in the face. None in the hips. She's exactly the same except for the basketball-sized bump under her shirt. He looks at it and smiles softly. "She keeping you up at night?" He asks.

Donna furrows her brow. "How'd you know?"

"You alphabetized my movies."

She laughs quietly. "Well it'll make it easier to find the one you want. Reaching in for _Sleepless in Seattle_ and coming up with _Die Hard_ isn't exactly ideal."

"Maybe not for you…"

"I'm the one who matters," she retorts, tilting her chin up at him with a grin.

"Yeah, that's true," he accepts, moving past her and squeezing her shoulder as he switches off the television before helping her up so they can get lunch.

"Besides I know you have a thing for Meg Ryan," she teases as they head for the mess.

* * *

"Josh?"

He grumbles from under his pillow.

"Are you awake?"

"No," he mumbles, lifting the edge so he can look up at her sitting on the usually empty space in his bed, her back propped up on the headboard, legs splayed out in front of her.

"I can't sleep."

"And misery loves company?"

"She keeps rolling over."

"Donna, have you taken a lover I don't know about?" He teases.

"No, Reese. I keep feeling her move and it's keeping me up."

He doesn't know what possesses him, but he shifts awkwardly until his head rests on her thigh, facing her stomach. "Reese," he says gently, moving his hand over Donna's round belly. "Mommy needs to get some sleep, so do you think you could calm down for a few hours?" He pleads. There's a brief moment of stillness before he feels a kick against his hand, causing Donna to chuckle. "Think that's a yes?" He asks the blonde.

"I don't know. Maybe you should talk to her a little more to make sure."

So he does. He starts off by telling funny stories about Donna – when they first met and how she dropped her underwear in front of Karen Cahill. Donna protests the second story, but he insists the baby can't comprehend what he's actually saying and won't remember it when she's born. She shifts to lie flat on the bed as Josh moves on to talking about the Mets. They had another crappy season this year, but a true fan sticks by his team no matter how bad they are.

He's in the middle of educating Reese on the Equal Rights Amendment when he notices Donna has fallen asleep. The baby isn't squirming anymore. He looks from Donna's sleeping face down to her pregnant belly.

"I know I'm not your dad," he murmurs. "I don't really know what I am to you – or to your mom… but I will always be there for you. No matter what happens. I love you already," Josh admits, sparing a glance at Donna's face to be certain she's still peacefully sleeping. "I've loved your mom for five years, how could I not love you?" He asks, running his hand over her stomach. "I can't wait to meet you," he says, pressing a kiss there before sliding up to rest his head on his own pillow, his hand lying protectively over Reese as he falls back asleep.

He wakes up with his arm around her, his face buried in her hair and his chest pressed against her back. He feels her fingers threaded through his, her thumb tracing his skin, and he realizes she's awake. Taking a risk, he presses a kiss to the crook of her shoulder and feels her shiver against him. "Morning," he whispers, pressing another kiss to the corner of her jaw.

"Hmmm…morning," she replies, lifting their joined hands and pressing a kiss to his palm. He briefly wonders if this is just her hormones acting up. The doctor said she might feel more affectionate during the third trimester. She wiggles away and rolls onto her back so she can turn her head and look at him.

She unlinks their hands, his moving back to her stomach and hers moving to cup his jaw. He feels her thumb running along his cheek, grazing the stubble that has grown since yesterday. She's smiling softly at him, and her eyes flick to his lips. He takes that as his sign and dips his head, pressing his lips to hers for the first time.

It's chaste, slow, nothing like what he imagined their first kiss would be like (and boy, has he imagined it a lot). After five years, he always thought it would be fast and passionate – that they wouldn't be able to get each others' clothes off fast enough.

This is better than anything his imagination could have conjured, though. Because when she kisses him back, he knows for sure that she loves him, too.

* * *

Reese Lucia Moss is born on September 3, 2002 at George Washington University Hospital. Josh sits behind Donna, his legs on either side of her as she relaxes back into him after the final push. Thirteen hours of labor and there she is. Donna's baby girl. **_Our_** _baby girl_ ," he reminds himself.

It was a conversation had just a few weeks ago, shortly after they first kissed. "What should she call me?" Josh had asked as he knelt down to tie Donna's shoe. "I mean all things considered, I think Uncle Josh would be a little weird," he teased, pulling the strings tight.

"How about Dad?"

Josh's head snapped up so quickly it caused a painful twinge in his neck. After a moment, he stood, looking at her quizzically. "But I'm not – "

"You are," she interrupted. "You love her… you love _me_ …" She lifted her hands to cup his face. "You're her father even if not biologically."

He smiled, trying not to choke up at the gesture. He kissed her then, holding her as close as he could.

The nurse asks if he wants to cut the cord, but he shakes his head. He doesn't want to move from this spot. Once she's cleaned and swaddled, Reese is placed in her mother's arms. Josh rests his chin on her shoulder and looks down at the little girl. He's happier than he can ever remember being.

* * *

Josh and Donna get married three years later in the Rose Garden. Josiah Bartlet performs the ceremony. Sam flies in from California to be Josh's best man, and Donna asks CJ to be her maid of honor.

Along with Josh's mom and Donna's parents, their closest friends are in attendance. Abigail and Zoey Bartlet sit with Charlie and Leo, and Ainsley and Danny sit together, their dates being part of the ceremony. Toby and Andy sit with Molly and Huck, and Josh is glad Toby was finally able to get Andy to say yes.

Reese is their flower girl, and she stands next to CJ, holding the woman's hand as she watches her parents take their vows.

They never lie to Reese about her parentage. Her birth certificate says that her father is Jack Reese. She calls Josh "Dad" even when she understands he's her stepfather.

When she's twelve, she asks if she can have Josh's name. She wants to be a Moss-Lyman, and Josh is certain he's never been happier than in that moment.

She has her first boyfriend at the age of sixteen, and Josh just hopes she hasn't found her very own Freddie Briggs.

* * *

She graduates Valedictorian from Benjamin Banneker High School when she's eighteen, and in the Fall, they move her into her dorm at Harvard with the help of her fifteen-year-old sister, Abigail, and twelve-year-old brother, Noah. Josh had still been holding out hope that she would go to Georgetown and stay close to home, but he feels proud to see his daughter at his alma mater.

They all say their goodbyes, and Josh promises to kick her professors' asses if they're not teaching things right, and she argues that it's Harvard, so they probably know what their talking about. He smiles as Donna hugs Reese tightly for a long time. Their oldest daughter looks so much like her sometimes with her slim build and long legs, but she's got Jack's dark hair and green eyes.

Donna and Reese part, and they squeeze each other's hands tightly before Donna turns to her husband, who waves at his daughter. "Get into lots of trouble," he jokes, causing her to laugh and promise that she will.

He wraps his arm around Donna's waist as their younger kids climb into the backseat. "We did good," she tells him as they stand by the passenger door and watch her walk into the next phase of her life.

Josh kisses Donna's forehead. "Yeah," he agrees. Reese isn't the way he expected to start his family, but ever since that night almost twenty years ago, he hasn't been able to imagine his life without her.


End file.
